In the beginning...

Actually the beginning of 2006...I entered the next stage of my writing 'career'. With Touch of Shadow written, edited, revised, edited a few dozen more times including a major rewrite, it was at long last deemed 'ready' for its first journey into the publishing world.

Second actually. In 2005 I spoke extensively with a lovely agent who showed a lot of interest in the book and suggested that, as a first time author, the novel might be better served if I divided its 200K and made it the first two books of the series rather than go for a door-stopper right off the bat. "Grow into it" she suggested.

It seemed like sound advice. I looked at the authors I knew (discounting Diana Gabaldon who seems to be a law unto herself) and indeed their work seemed to grow sequentially longer with publication. You need the publisher to trust you to produce before they turn you loose with a monster investment.

Still, I ranted and raved a bit. OK, a lot. I cried. I had worked so hard to reach this stage, and the story proceeded to a logical conclusion and to cut it in half would leave my story in a much less desirable section. Finished with my fits of angst, I set about deciding how to accomplish the task of reducing my novel to the desired 90-100K length the agent recommended.

Obviously cutting it in half was not a plan. Instead I looked for the nearest logical 'stopping' point in the story. I cut my book back to 50K. Then I began the rebuilding. First I needed a new climax, and to achieve this I also would have to crank up the tension and the pacing. It has been a long, leisurely telling before. Plenty of time to build a world and explore my characters. Now it would be a crash course. So I added, and I cut. I dug into the scenes to mine every nugget of tension in order to reach that climactic moment.

Amazing how similar writing a novel is to sex...

Then came the angst of building a new ending. And discovering it just--laid there. Definetly not what I wanted. More revisions. And finally that moment of clarity that says...well of course it doesn't work. This is not the right ending any more!

Finally the story was rebuilt. 104K. A total revision. A new climax, a new conclusion. Deep breath. Moment of pride. Hand it off to my readers...those indomitable and ruthless readers of the word. They found the prerequisite 'misses' we all make. Echoes. A missing word or comma. So far so good.

And then...

The moment of realization...

When all the critiques are in and the reveiews are wonderful and it should be a moment of reveling...except--all the accolades are for the OTHER characters. Even the antagonist got raves!

But not my hero. Not the one and only character who mattered most to me.
They did not see this as a 'flaw' in the story. They understood that he was not human and did not, indeed to my eyes COULD not, respond to situations as a human hero might have. He was more aloof. Distant. Reserved.

That was correct. That was what I wanted. A complex character capable of deep emotion who did not wear it on his sleeve. Someone worth caring about. Memorable.

I had failed him. I had underestimated the 'need' of my very human readers to get inside those emotions he guarded so jealously. A lot more tears. Then back to the drawing board...twist and tweak those scenes. Pull the emotions to the surface. Find ways to explore his feelings, his challenges, and his loss without forcing him to be something he was not.

I think it worked.

My beta readers finally 'connected'...I felt like Sally Fields...they like him, they really like him!

And now he is gone. Off into the cold business world of looking for THE agent who will love him and believe in these stories...and in my ability to tell them.

I spent the last three weeks making my list. VERY short. Just the very few I feel could appreciate this book the most. The ones I would really like to have on our team.

I'll let you know how the story proceeds from here--